Happy Birthday, Sunshine!

My Amazing Sunshine,

You're four years old now.  Four years going on fourteen.  You told some of our neighbors that you were turning four, and you had such a grownup look about you.  You were posing.  They gave me a look that said, "Oh Angela, you are in such trouble."  But that's another post.

I feel like I spent all day looking at you and thinking about that truly scary, exhilarating day that you entered this world.  We were nervous, like all new parents facing labor and delivery for the first time.  I remember just bits and pieces now.  Like how it took so long for you to cry, and that they didn't bring you to me like they were supposed to.  I remember feeling very anxious.  You were perfect; you just needed a little time.  I remember trying to nurse you that very first time.  How I had no idea if what I was doing was right, but you seemed content and busy.  I remember that very first night that we brought you home.  Silly me.  I thought you would wake me up every two hours to eat.  You didn't.  I woke up, completely engorged and terrified that you'd stopped breathing six hours later.  You were fine.  Just sleeping like a baby.

We quickly learned that you will do things when you are ready.  No amount of cajoling on our part can make you ready for something you are not.  You will do things in your own time.  You were a swaddled baby.  Couldn't sleep without it.  We tried to take it away several times, but you weren't ready.  Then, at six months old, you suddenly couldn't sleep with it.  And you told us, in no uncertain terms, that you were done with it.  Even now, you let us know when you're not ready.  Just this weekend you had your first soccer practice.  You're on a team with children you don't know, playing a game you are a little unfamiliar with.  We should have known that you wouldn't necessarily take kindly to practicing.  I wish the coach  might have let you kids have time to get to know each other.  But we don't live in a world that caters to us, and your Daddy and I are trying to teach you a little bit about that.

Your kindness and courtesy amazes me.  I love that when we go out for ice cream, you are the first to offer up your flavor to us for tastes.  You give bites of your favorite foods to Ladybug, without hesitation, if you think she might want them.  You gently help her down the stairs, and cheer her on for getting down without falling.  We've even caught glimpses of you curled up at the corner of her crib, reading her stories.  You absolutely love to hold doors open for others (thank you, Richmond Montessori!), and you know that trash belongs in a trashcan.  There are many students at the high school next to your school who still don't have a great grasp on those lessons.  

You understand so readily that there are certain things that you don't have to share; Cat, Jungley, Baby, and that everything else is up for grabs.  You're so patient with Ladybug when she wants to play with all these toys that were formerly just yours.  You even show her how to use them properly.  

You have an amazing love of all things girl:  sparkly shoes, butterflies, cool hair bands, Fancy Nancy, Barbie dolls (thanks, Mimi), and jewelry.  It never ceases to amaze me.  You need to feel put together in the morning.  Everything matches down to your accessories.  Your purse goes with you to school.  I'm so the very opposite of well put together.  I usually don't match.  My hair is usually up in a bun, and accessories con only rarely be found on my person.  It's absolutely delightful watching you.  I do feel as though I lack some girly gene though.  I know we'll butt heads, but for now I love watching you grow.

Sunshine, your laugh is absolutely infectious.  Luckily we hear you laugh so much more often than we hear you rage.  Although as you test more and more boundaries, you seem to feel more and more frustrated.  We've been working on counting to 10 lately.  When you're angry, I can ask you nicely to count to 10.  You do the same for me.  It's only fair.  Hopefully this will make for some better mornings.

I see so little of the baby that you once were.  I think I'm mourning that just a little.  On the flip side, it's incredible to see the girl you are becoming!

Happy Birthday, Sunshine!

Love, Mom