Navigating the sticky, jam-covered road of life.  

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

When Ladybug Has a Blowout, or How I Spent My Day Today

When Ladybug has a blowout, you might notice the stench that seems to be everywhere.  You look for the source.

When you finally do pinpoint the source, you see that she has leaked everywhere.  You moved towards her carefully, for a closer inspection.

When you move in for a closer inspection, you realize that she has rubbed it all over her hair.  You decide that a shower is imperative.

You take her up to the shower, dripping everywhere, and carrying her as far away from your body as humanly possible.  

When you get to the bathroom and start carefully undressing Ladybug, you realize that you have zero change of getting out of this without a shower yourself.  You also realize that you are making a miserable mess.  You yell to Sunshine to bring wipes, and plenty of them.  And a plastic bag, don't forget the plastic bag.

After showering, dressing, cleaning the floor, and putting Ladybug down for a nap; you head downstairs to deal with the aftermath.

You start by calling to Sunshine to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE start cleaning the playroom.  

When you've established that she is, indeed, picking up the playroom, you start to concentrate on the carpet spots.  

As you clean the carpet, you realize that your floors are in desperate need of sweeping and mopping.

You drag out the broom, dustpan, and mop.  You move all the furniture and rugs.  You start to sweep. 

As you are sweeping, you notice that the baseboards could use a wash.  Of course, you make a mental note if it because you are in the middle of sweeping.  You also knock you head on the hanging light fixture, because there is no kitchen table, or husband, to warn you that it is there.  You curse the light fixture.

After you curse the light fixture and finish sweeping, you start to mop.  As you mop, you realize that there are lots of marker marks on the floor.  You make a mental note to drag out the Magic Eraser.  You put place holders down by each mark, making the room look eerily similar to a crime scene.  In the process, you knock you head on the light fixture yet again, cursing it a little louder this time.

After you finish cursing again, you realize that Sunshine has finished picking up the playroom and would like another task.  You give her a full bottle of diluted vinegar, a roll of paper towels, and ask her to clean the windows.  You proceed to vacuum, sweep, and mop the playroom and living room.  While you're on your way to throw the sweepings outside, you knock your head on that damn light fixture again.  At this point the cursing can probably be heard in the development next to yours.  

As the throbbing in your head subsides a little, you realize that Sunshine has finished with the windows.  You let her loose on the baseboards.  As she sprays vinegar all over the house, you notice the shocking number of foam stickers that are stuck on various surfaces.  As you painstakingly scrape each and everyone on of them off, you silently curse the person who decided that the adhesive on said stickers should be NASA grade.  

After you're done scraping stickers, you realize that Sunshine has run out of vinegar after cleaning the baseboards, doors, and kitchen cabinets.  You wisely decide not to refill the bottle, and you both sit down to relax for a moment.  Just as you sit down, you hear Ladybug's voice.  She's awake and she needs a diaper change.  

And honestly, after all this, all I could think was THANK GOD WE DIDN'T GO TO THE AQUARIUM THIS AFTERNOON.  


Peggy said...

WOW! You had yourself quite the afternoon huh? At least it's clean...for now! Bwahahahaha!! :p

Denise said...

You had quite a day! Isn't it something how when one child requires so much, the other child steps up to the plate and is so helpful. And you're right, it is a good thing you didn't head out to the aquarium!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for reminding me how much better it is to be the grandparent! Well written...felt like I was beside you cleaning!!

Anonymous said...

It was even funnier because now that I have been there I could actually see you going around the house cleaning. Kirha-and by the way, I LOVE Ladybug's expressions when she has her hair down.that just makes it better.